| Yeahhhh so I don't know what's going on for next year.
Why do I always have to make stupid decisions?!
Fuckkk.  Anyways. I just hope things work out for the best. What more can I do really. |
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I don't know where I'm going, but I hope it's somewhere better than where I am.
Oh fuck, already moving on and it hasn't even been that long.
I'm settling with the idea of being happy with just me. I don't need anyone else. God knows, doesn't mean I don't WANT anyone else. Because I do. But I can be alone. I'm fine, I'm capable, I've always been enough.
Right?
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| Lots of thoughts lately.
When I really think about it, I feel like I'm finally growing out of my naivety. I can make judgment calls on situations without being afraid of looking like an idiot because I'm just trying to sound like I have some kind of intellectual authority that doesn't actually exist. I know when I have the upper hand, and when I'm right I don't doubt myself.
Finally standing up for myself. Telling people no. Telling other people yes. Taking words with a grain of salt then doing what I want anyway. Not to the point of recklessness.
I'm realizing that I'm not as special or unique or different as I thought, that girls (and boys, for that matter) are a dime a dozen, that you have to work hard to actually stand out. And I'm not sure standing out is what I want anyway. What does that actually mean or accomplish anyway? I just want to lay low, chill out and enjoy life right now. I'm doing a good job.
Its strange to watch others be where I've been before and make the same mistakes. Its something else to be put through a situation for the second time and expected to fall for it again. Different people, same circumstances. I try to learn the first time.
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| Nothing's definite.
I'm wrong a lot, unfortunately.
Anyways, lack of new activities for now. Same old same old.
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